Monthly Archives - Jasper Month 17

dear jasper,

wow. so all this time you've been listening to all of us talk about what a good baby you are, what a sweet angel, what a laid back, go-with-the-flow kinda guy, what a pleasant, easy baby...and then i took away the processed baby food.

this past month has been all about me trying to find the strength within to fight this battle of wills with you. part of me just doesn't have the heart to do this, but part of me is so over your screaming and throwing food that i'm just bound and determined to stand firm until you give in and eat something. and no, it's not like you're not eating at all. you love breakfast. you eat your banana and feed yourself your cereal no problem. breakfast is easy - except that you won't try anything else...like toast or waffles or eggs. but that's fine. it's lunch and dinner that drive me crazy. i try to give you something new every day at lunch. i try to make you take ONE bite of the new thing before i give you the green beans and cheese that i know you will eat. today the battle was turkey breast. i mean come on. how do you even know it's not cheese?

so you scream and i take you out of the highchair and you scream and cry and point to the "mamas" (bananas) and then you throw yourself on the floor and just sob. it's so sad. and pathetic really. because you know what? i have learned something else about you. you're smart. you're smart and you have been manipulating me and your daddy and everyone else for months now. you're so used to getting everything you want because you're so cute, that you haven't had to eat anything you didn't want to, you haven't had to walk anywhere, you haven't had to produce words...and i am just now realizing that you can do all of these things. the other day you took 7 or 8 steps like you had been doing it your whole life. you didn't know i was watching and you were a total pro. and then, as soon as i'm watching you just crawl or act all wobbly like it's so hard this walking business. liar. and then you nod your head and shake your head in answer to things so i know you know what i'm saying to you. you're trouble.

we will get through this craziness. i figure you're bound to get sick of green beans and velveeta slices before too long...right? i still think you're the cutest, sweetest, cuddliest boy i've ever known. you love to play with any and all balls, you loooooove to play in the sandbox, you love being outside in general. it's the only other time (aside from dinner time) that you ever cry: when you have to come inside. you hate that. you are definitely showing us who jasper is/will be a lot more lately, and it's so much fun to see your personality shine through.

you're a pleasure, buckaroo, even if you are the worlds pickiest eater.

i love you like you love bananas,

mommy

ps: again, the curls!

Haircuts and Cranky Eaters - All in a Day's Work

annie is over the virus she had i think. she went the entire day yesterday without getting a fever, so that's progress around here. it may have had something to do with the fact that on friday she found out she was going to get to go fishing on saturday if she was feeling better...i think that was enough to chase the rest of the virus away. this girl loves to fish. loves it. she didn't catch anything this time, but she didn't want to leave until she did. i can't wait until we can bring her fishing in colorado hopefully this summer and she can see some fish.

anyway, i finally got a few pictures of annie's new haircut. it turned out really cute, which is a miracle because to her, haircuts top the list of most miserable, most painful, most horrible and wretched things to have to do. this was her 3rd real haircut (as in not done by mom) and it was every bit, if not more, traumatic than the first 2. even at "SnipIts" - where they have every distraction possible: videos, bubbles, suckers, stickers - she wasn't falling for that for one minute. i was really impressed with the gal who cut her hair, too. you just knew she had kids, too, and they had surely seen it all she never lost patience and always kept cutting even when annie was spazzing out getting her sucker in her hair and thrashing about. amazing.

so. here is before:

and here is after:

there's a little bedhead happening in that backside view, but you get the idea. it's so cute, isn't it?

in jasper news, we have been off the jar now for about 4 days and it's not getting any easier, folks. the first day, i did the take-him-out-of-the-chair-every-time-he-threw-food-on-the-floor-thing...and, well, he did NOT approve:

he was beside himself. guilting me about how i could possibly withhold food from him - the sweetest boy ever? i stuck to my guns, though. i would take him out, let him cry, let him calm down, and then put him back. then, he would start to cry because he would still be sitting in front of the same disgusting food. and he'd throw it. and then he'd come out again. oh...my...goooosh it was annoying and heartbreaking. then, if he would sit in his chair without throwing anything, i would eventually clear his tray and give him fruit and a graham cracker - his two favorite things in the world. but he was on to me. he learned that if he would just hold out, that he'd get those things.

so now, he just sits in his chair and whines and does this thing with his hands as if to say "woman. you. come here, now. give me my fruit." so now i have to figure out how to get around this. cause honestly, he won't eat. if i only gave him mac and cheese and hot dogs, he wouldn't eat. ever. i mean, how long is he going to be happy eating nothing but green beans and cheese? sigh.

Lone Ranger

just the other day it occurred to jasper that this zebra-horse thing is better than an all-day pass to six flags.

More With Boy and His Red Balloon

Remember this? remember how sad it was when the hoodlum boys destroyed his buddy, the red balloon? i can't decide what part jasper plays in the second video, because in the first, he is definitely the little boy in love with his red balloon:


but in the second, i'm not so sure which side he's on:

Sick

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

(from "Sick" by Shel Silverstein)

one of my all-time favorites. annie had to stay home from school today due to fever. and i say "had to" because she was NOT down with that plan. i said "honey, you can't go to school today, you have a fever" and she said "noooooooooooooooo! i want to go to schooooool!" i'm going to remember that one forever cause i'm sure in 7 years she'll be over that.

honestly, these babies of ours will not stop being sick. i'm starting to get really bored with it. which reminds me of a funny story:

so monday we were at the doc making sure jasper was well, and there was a little boy in the waiting room - i'd say he was about 6. the nurse came and called his name and his mom was trying to hurry him up and get him to move and he was like "i don't want to get a shot! i don't want a shot! shots are so bowing." just like that. so matter-of-fact. shots are bowing. cause he can't say "r". i love it. and it is so true. shots are boring.

speaking of gashes and purple bumps...that thing going on with annie's face is what happens when she reaches warp speed while running. face plant, skid, feet over head, and you end up with a scraped face and arm. she did a good job, yeah?

Loves a Water Bottle

...even though he can't quite do it yet. don't let that "choking" deceive you though, if you try to take away the water bottle you get "the lip":

Monthly Archives - Annie Month 39

dear annie,

oh boy have you been a challenging little sprite lately. your dad and i have finally begun to come to terms with the fact that you have been playing us - hard - for god knows how long and now we must break you down. you are fiesty. you are stubborn. you have some kind of irish/dutch/german fire that burns eternally in your soul. it makes you awesome, but it also makes you m-a-d sometimes. like when you don't get your way. and do you know what your dad and i have been doing? what we thought was an effort to sort of tame this fire and make sure it doesn't explode, was really just feeding the fire. you see, we've been doing this thing where we give you chances. so, you do something you aren't supposed to do and we will, say, warn you. then you do it again and we'll say "annie, do you want to go to time out?" (i mean honestly, it doesn't take a supernanny to tell us that you don't ever ask the kid if they want to be punished and yet we do it anyway). then you do it again and we'll say "i mean, if you don't stop..." you see how bad this is? i know you see it, because you milk it, man. you will just stand there doing the naughty thing and laughing about it because you know you have a good 5-100 more chances before you actually get punished. oh man. you're good.

however, the party is over because we've figured it out. just like jasper's party with the food thing is over, so is your party with avoiding punishment. now you don't even get one chance, it's just straight to time out. and booooooy do you hate time out. it's the worst. and it should be, i suppose. sometimes you leave the step, but you're starting to get it and now you will sit on the step and cry for whichever one of us didn't put you there. it's clever. nice try. booyah! this is your daddy and i doing the celebration dance.

three is a tough age. i am now beginning to believe all those other parents of 3-year olds who say "terrible twos? no way. threes. it's the threes that are baaad." i think they're right. because you're getting smarter, see. you can start to reason with us now and you can fight back and say things like "NO!" and "I don't WANT to!" and sometimes your daddy and i just look at eachother and have to talk eachother down from sitting on your face and pulling out your toenails one by one. i mean that in the most loving way possible.

baby, you are not all bad, though. you can be so sweet and such a good helper. honestly, if i put clothes in the dryer without your help you get upset. if i am unloading the dishwasher you will say "i can help you mommy" and you put all the silverware away for me. don't think i'm not going to remember either because unloading the dishwasher is SO your job for the duration. yes! it has always been the thing i hate most - i had to do it when i was a kid and now i get to bestow that honor on you. oh to be a parent!

anyway, you're an awesome helper. you help me with jasper all the time, too. when he isn't feeling well you are so gentle and loving with him and he perks up whenever he sees you. i remember when i was pregnant with jasper i was so worried about how you would adjust, or if you would hate him or hate daddy and me, but honestly, i don't think you can even contemplate your life without jasper in it. it's so sweet.

i've said it before and i'll say it again and again: one of my favorite things about you is your OCD. remember at christmas how you arranged all the packages under the tree according to wrapping paper style? well, you do it with your fruit snacks, too. exhibit a:

love you stinkyface,

mommy

It's State Policy, Ma'am - Parts 2, 3 and 4

it's been a week now and i think i'm finally ok writing about it. my last trip to the dps, that is. you'll recall in the last episode what happened when i tried to go get a texas driver's license...well, the saga continues...

[deep breath]

so. my folks were here last week and i thought, hey, what a great time for you to go get your driver's license. you don't have to worry about toting jasper with you, you can go first thing in the morning when they open and be in and out no problem! you're a'thinkin' gina! i checked on line the night before and saw that they opened at 8am so i made a point to put all the papers i needed into my car that night: registration, insurance policy, done.

i woke up and actually GOT READY so that i didn't look homeless in my driver's license picture - quite a feat for me these days. i jumped in the car at 7:45 and drove over to the dps which, fortunately, is only about a 7 minute drive from my house. there was a line of people at the door already when i got there, i'd say about 30 people deep. once they opened the doors it moved fairly quickly. the deal is, you have to stop at a "check-in" desk first, before you are directed to either get in one of two lines or to have a seat in the waiting area until your number is called. it's fairly efficient as far as that goes..but it is annoying. it weeds out all of us people who don't have the appropriate forms, you see. i had the damndest time getting past that check-in desk.

8:10am - i am at the check in. i present my forms to a cranky-looking - but nice - man in a security/police-type uniform. with a gun. he looks over my insurance and my car registration and says "we need one more form of id" to which i say "why? i have right here my insurance and my car registration and the last time i was here i was told that is all i would need". i was ready to throw down already. the man, patiently, said "yes, ma'am, but your name is not on this car registration, so i need another form of id like a marriage certificate or school transcripts or something." i, though flattered that he thinks i look young enough to be a student, am nothing less than annoyed, because i felt that should have been made clear the first time. "ok," i say, "if i go home and get my marriage certificate, are you saying then i will be able to get my driver's license?"

"yes ma'am."

"you're sure?"

"yes ma'am."

i gather all of my papers and walk away in a bit of a huff. i am amazed at how much of a joke this is. all i want to do is transfer my dang license from one state to another and you would think i'm asking to bring arms into another country, for crying out loud.

however, i will not be deterred. i have a babysitter, it is a beautiful day, and i'm only 7 minutes from home. i can be back in 15 minutes and it still won't be crazy busy. so, i go home and my mom says "that was fast", to which i chuckle and say "if only. you won't believe what happened..." and i proceed to fill her in on the details while i'm searching boxes in the attic for my marriage certificate. at last, i find it and i say "ok i'm outta here" as i leave the house - triple-checking to make sure i have allllll the papers i need.

8:40am - i am in line for the check-in desk again. this time, when it's my turn, i am faced not with cranky-but-nice-man-with-a-gun, but with middle-aged-cranky-over-her-job-woman-who-has-no-time-for-anyone. i always try to start very chipper and nice and happy. i say "ok, i think i should have everything now. hahahaha." and she takes all my papers and studies them for a minute and says "where is the registration for the dodge truck?"

i know, you're thinking what i'm thinking. she's got to be (*#&$(#*ing kidding, right? no one, anywhere, ever said anything about the (#*$& registration for the (#$^(@* truck - a car i don't even DRIVE. i drive the saab. here. is. the. registration. RIGHT HERE. and here is the insurance. RIGHT HERE YOU BASTARD WOMAN!

so i say, "when i was here 15 minutes ago, the man i spoke to said that i could use my marriage certificate because i didn't have that other registration. he said i could bring my marriage certificate and HE SAID THAT IS ALL I WOULD NEED. he swore." and she said, "i don't know what man you're talking about." and i can't even believe she has the balls to say that. seriously?! now you're just being wicked for the sake of being wicked.

"the man. the one who was standing right next to you? he's wearing a uniform? he told me i would have everything i needed if i went home to get my marriage certificate. so i did. and now you are telling me that's not sufficient? you guys need to get on the same page."

"i'm sorry, ma'am but your your name is on the insurance and both the dodge and the saab are listed on the insurance so we need to see both registrations to see if your name appears. he must have not seen both cars on the insurance."

and i said, "but they are in my husband's name. i do not own these cars. he does. i don't understand why you need to see the registration for a car i don't drive."

and she said, "because it's state policy ma'am."

this is the point in time where my brain wanders and thinks about all those people who go into the post office or the dps or city hall with guns and end up shooting people. because how many times can someone send you away and say "because it's state policy" before you actually lose your mind? i mean, i am a person of sound mind and I was starting to feel like this was some horrible cosmic unfunny joke.

i say "can you just explain to me why i even have to show you a car registration? i don't understand. do you have to own a car in order to get a driver's license? does everyone that comes in here own a car?"

"no ma'am, but..."

"ok then that just doesn't make any sense," i say, becoming very agitated and aware that people are watching me melt down before their eyes. the woman then takes my insurance and registration and says "you're going to need to sit in the waiting area while i go check on something" and she leaves and i'm sure i'm about to be arrested or something. i sit down and i'm nearly shaking i am so annoyed and my eyes start welling up with tears because the level of frustration is immeasurable. it's baffling to me that i still haven't gotten my license. and that no one in this godforsaken place is saying the same thing as anyone else.

she comes back 5 minutes later and says "we ran your registration for the dodge and your name is listed as a co-owner, so we are going to have to see that registration as well." i grabbed my papers without saying a word and left the building. and then the waterworks came. i was so mad, so annoyed, so inconvenienced, so confused that i just started bawling in the dps parking lot. i called addison and was like, "you're never going to guess what?" and he was like, "you're kidding me" and i was like, "i'm not, but i KNOW!" and i vented and we both complained about the dps for 5 minutes and then i felt better.

this time when i walked in the door i said "guess what?" my mom said, tentatively, "what?" and i was still kind of doing that laugh-cry thing and i said, "NOW i need to have the truck registration." she was baffled too, at the absurdity of it all. now my problem is, the truck registration is in the truck. which is at work with addison. which is 40 minutes away from me. luckily, my husband is a good, caring man, so he scanned his registration in to the computer and emailed it to me. i printed it out and hoped and prayed that they wouldn't give me hell about this not being the original copy, etc. i went into the bathroom and tried to help my red, puffy eyes, but realized they were beyond repair for this early in the morning, so i put on some lip gloss instead.

9:25am - i arrive back at the dps for the THIRD TIME that day. my cranky-but-nice man is back at the counter and i feel like snapping my fingers at the cranky lady and saying "this man. this one. remember?" but i don't. instead, i get up to the counter and the man - obviously - remembers me and i put on my best attempt at a smile, spread alllll my papers on the counter and say "please tell me everything is here". he looks at it all and says "ok, you have everything. i'm sorry about earlier. you can step in the line to the right."

what?! he's sorry?! wow. a dps employee actually admitted - more or less - that what i just went through was ridiculous. i couldn't believe it. i sighed, and got into the line to the right where i was the next person. after 2 minutes of standing there while loretta counted her drawer, i finally got up there and 5 minutes later i had my license.

i'm sure it's going to be a beautiful photo.

Valentine's Day Blues

please forgive my appearance in this photo. my intent is only to demonstrate how jasper looks when he's sick and cuddly, not what i look like when my kids are sick and cuddly. and you'll all be happy to know i have since fixed my hair, so you can rest easy.

jasper may only be 16 months old, but he is already protesting valentine's day. he has been in a bit of a funk since tuesday, but yesterday evening he had his first trip to the er because he just wouldn't shake his pesky 103.6 fever. i know 103.6 is not high for a baby - i know because we did this with annie. the nurse was like "we don't worry until 105" and then last night our er doctor said 108 would be worrisome. 108?! i'm sorry, but do thermometers even go that high? that's ridiculous.

anyway, he woke up fine so i went to yoga, but then after class he was hot like fire again, so i took his temp when i got home and sure enough it was 103.3. i gave him tylenol and put him down for a nap and when he woke up it was 99. then, a half hour later it was back up to 103. at that point, i had to leave for class so i instructed addison to take his temp again after an hour to make sure the tylenol was kicking in, otherwise we'd have to reevaluate. accidently on purpose i left my phone on at class and it rang at 6:45 so i took the call in the hall and it was addison saying that jasper's temp was 103.6 so he was taking annie over to my sister-in-law's house and then taking japper to the er. i was glad he was taking him and every ounce of my being wanted to be there, but i also knew it wasn't an emergency so i could wait until we took our break in class before i left. fortunately we took an early break last night at 7 so i got to get out of there and get to the hospital just as they were taking jasper back to be seen. perfect timing.

they swabbed way up his nose to his brain to test for flu - which jasper was NOT happy about and made that abundantly clear. then, they came back and took a chest x-ray and he was NOT happy about that either - particulary the big, heavy thing they put around his privates.

have you ever wondered why, when you are getting an x-ray, they put this giant lead coat or whatever over part of your body and tell you it's perfectly safe and then they run far, far away when they actually shoot the x-ray? i think it's hilarious. no, no, it's fine...see ya!

i digress. turns out japper was negative for flu - thank goodness - but he did have some "patchiness" on his lungs which was not bad enough to be pneumonia (again, thank goodness), but was indicative of a lung infection of sorts - probably bronchitis, to which he is no stranger. so, they prescribed us an antibiotic that will take care of the lung infection and anything else he has. must be heavy-duty because he only takes it for 5 days. i think it's the equivalent of the z-pack but in liquid form.

jasper's fever was gone by the time we left the hospital, but it was back up to 103.3 this morning. he was so thirsty he chugged a bottle of milk and a sippy cup of juice in the span of about 10 minutes and then he barfed grape juice all over the carpet. apparently a 16-month old's tummy is not large enough to hold a liter of liquid. you should have seen him chugging though, i've never seen him drink like that before. rugby teams around the world would be so impressed.

Moment of Silence

for my big brother's doggie, shiloh, who went to doggie heaven today at the age of 16. she was a beautiful puppy with one ice-blue eye and one brownish eye. she hated ferris. i can't to this day imagine why. hahaha.

we'll miss you, shiloh girl. say hi to skeeter, duke, bijou and tanzi.

peace.

The 18 Month Checkup

i know, i know, if you're keeping track you know jasper is only 16 1/2 months old, but they do the 18 month checkup between 15 and 18 months and he had to go back to get his ears rechecked anyway, so here we are.

jasper has developed the "stranger anxiety"...generally reserved only for dr. mac and dr. mac's nurses. they just look at him and he starts screaming. he probably looks forward to the shots because he knows it's the last thing and then he's outta there. so anyway, dr. mac enters the room and BOOM, jasper is screaming. it's kind of hard to hear anything anyone is saying when a child is yelling that loud, but somehow dr. mac can keep talking and listen to lungs/heart all at the same time. impressive.

here are the stats:

weight: 22lb 6oz 15-20%

height: 32.5" 50-75%

head: 18 7/8" 50-75%

still tall, still skinny and now starting to grow that big ol' head like his sister and daddy have.

everything else was just fine. i asked dr. mac about jasper's whole still-eating-jarred-baby-food thing and the throwing-real-food-on-the-floor-before-even-trying-it thing, and dr. mac confirmed what i already knew (but have been putting off): must discontinue jarred baby food and give variety of food options; when food goes on floor, the meal is over. are you listening, jasper? over. you get food, you EAT food. you throw food, you done. it's that easy. i bet. on one hand i am soooooo over feeding this kid, but on the other hand, i'm really not looking forward to the work it is going to be getting him to venture out beyond cheese, green beans, fruit and graham crackers.

i said to dr. mac "i've been babying him, haven't i?" and he said "yes, but you're supposed to". i knew it. i suspected maybe i've been babying this baby a little more than i did annie. i was so by the book with her, but with jasper i'm like "here, have a bottle in bed" and "here, let me rock you...for your nap" and "here, let me carry you across the room" and "here, let me spoon your food into your mouth" and "here, let me hold this sippy cup for you, i know it's hard work" and on and on. babied? yep. and i'm completely aware. i've been an enabler. oopsie.

well, that's enough of that. i got the ok, so it's Soup Nazi-Mommy from now on. you don't like pb&j? too bad - NO SOUP FOR YOU! you don't want mac and cheese? bummer, cause it's NO SOUP FOR YOU! try me, jasper. just try me.

did that sound threatening enough? good, cause i'm pretty sure this kid is going to be eating puree when he goes to kindergarten.

check out these curls though - aren't they awesome?

Quick Note

i just wanted to take a quick sec to throw out some love to the universe by way of sioux falls. there was a funeral today for a classmate of mine who took his own life. i have known him since first grade and went to school with him up until we all left for college. i am so saddened by the news of his passing, the circumstances and for his family's aching hearts. all i can say is this: he was one of the kindest people i have ever known. in the days when being mean was what teenage boys were best at, he was never one to throw stones. in fact, i never knew him to say or do anything that was anything less than kindhearted. he was so laid back and had a great sense of humor. he was just...nice.

it's sad. the world needs more people like him.

i hope he has found peace and i hope that his family is able to take comfort in the fact that this was a good man who did good things.

that's all.

Because I'm Mean

addison keeps asking me why i find it necessary to get the camera out every time jasper is taking a poo, and i have no better answer other than "because it's really funny". i realize that one day jasper is going to hold this against me and tell me how rude i am and how he's traumatized by it, blah blah blah, but i'm ok with that. because it really is that funny. i think he's on to me though, because when i'm around, he has taken to crawling into corners, behind furniture, into the dora tent, etc. because all he wants is a little privacy for pete's sake.

behold, the poo process:

oh boy, i feel something brewing...

oh, here it comes...

oh dear god it's like a boulder. grip that table, buddy!

Distracted

i've been distracted this week. mom came up to visit last saturday and as a complete surprise she brought dad with her - fun! we had such a fun time hanging out, eating, hanging out, puzzling, hanging out, playing, etc. it goes so fast. we just got back from putting mama on the airplane and annie said "i want mama to come to my house" the whole way back home. we're going to have to endure a little separation anxiety, me thinks.

as usual, when we have visitors i don't bother doing much else, so i am not only behind on the blogging, but i'm behind on laundry, homework, housework, etc. i have a really great unbelievable story to share with you all about my continued saga with the texas dps, but i'll save that for another day when i have a bit more time to rant.

2020 Olympian

look at those splits. you should see the sommersault.

Tiny Dancer

because it makes me laugh:

GUESS WHAT?!

Monthly Archives - Jasper Month 16

dear jasper,

boy have you made some headway this month! you are starting to understand and use some words, you are becoming more and more social, you have taken your first steps (!) and you have even ventured out of your comfort zone with food...once or twice.

first of all, the words. you have started to repeat things when we say them. you will say "night night" and "bye bye" and you definitely know who mommy and daddy are. you say "annie" but right now it still kind of sounds like "ahhhhyyyeeee", but that's ok. we know who you mean. she is your favorite person, you know. i want you to remember this now because in another couple of years i'm pretty sure you'll be enemies a good 70% of the time. right now though, you love her more than you love your blankie. and that's a lot. i'm going to start calling you linus the way you love on your blankie so much. i think it's cute though. you have a couple more years before i worry about having this conversation with you:

"I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they're great... and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You're out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads Ken. That's serious."

that's from a movie called Mr. Mom from back in the DAY. it's an awesome movie, i'm sure your daddy and i will make you and annie watch it someday.

i digress. you love your sister, you love your blankie. speaking of love, you are getting really good at kisses. they are these big, open-mouth, drooly things and they are delicious...except when you have a runny nose.

you're a little sickie right now. you've got an ear infection (not a shock, buck-o) and a touch of the bronchitis again. it's a bummer. it makes you - an otherwise happy, contented, relaxed kid - a very crabby and sad little boy. i learned yesterday that you officially hate dr. mac. hate him. i think he has messed with your little wiener one too many times and now you associate him with pain. you have been traumatized and you remember it. when he walked into the room yesterday, you were sitting happily up on the table, eyeing him suspiciously, but not jumping to any conclusions. then, he grabbed that pesky tongue depressor that he likes to try to hand you to use as a distraction and you were not about to fall for that trick. instead you opened the flood gates and screamed and yelled and turned red and fought him off, with everything you had, the entire time he was checking you out. it's a miracle he could hear your lungs at all you were screaming so loud. wow. even annie could not calm you. i hate to break it to you, buddy, but we have to go back in 3 weeks and i'm pretty sure there is a needle involved. i'm sorry in advance.

in other news, you now know what a cow says. it's so cute. i haven't caught it on video yet, but we say "what does the cow say" and you go "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!" and then sometimes you tack on the "ooo" at the end. so cute.

the other big news from lake wobegon is that you have taken your first steps. i know! it's a miracle. you have started just standing without holding on to anything and hanging out and then you will start to move your feet and every now and then you get a couple of steps out before you fall. last night you took 3! it was amazing. you're going to be off and running in no time!

love you buddy, mommy

Annie-ism #8,910 and 8,911

so today we took little japper in to the doctor - he's had a cold and now recently a pretty wicked cough and i was suspicious that there may be an ear thing going on. i was right. he has an ear infection and a touch of the bronchitis. again. poor thing. sometimes i wonder if he's going to develop asthma...

anyway. when annie knows she isn't being seen by the doctor she just loves going. loves it. "i'm going to get a sucker AND a sticker!" and "i not having a check-up, japper having a check-up" and things like this. when we got into the room she was looking at a book and then after she finished it she said "where is dr. mac, mommy?" now, maybe this doesn't sound crazy to you, but to me she just did two things: 1.) she formed a complete, grammatically correct interrogatory sentence and 2.) she just referred to the doctor by his actual, formal name. not doctor, not the man (as she calls our pest control guy)...but dr. mac. it totally cracked me up. i didn't even realize she knew his name. kills me. love it. so, then dr. mac comes in and annie is all talking to him, having an actual conversation. it's amazing. she's like "i'm annie. i'm 3. i turn 3 on my birthday. japper's 1." i just love it. it's as if every day she gets better and better at conversing.

so, as usual when we are finished, dr. mac asks annie to carry jasper's file up to the check out counter and then she gets her sucker and sticker for doing her job. she does, we leave and everything was peachy. in and out in 30 minutes. we get into the car and jasper starts having a couging fit and annie says, "mommy, the doctor didn't work". (cue rim shot)

and that's not all. then we get home and daddy is home and he takes annie to go pick out a movie. when they come back i can hear her downstairs saying "where mommy go?" and then i announce that i'm upstairs and she starts coming up so she can tell me all about her adventures with daddy. she is talking to herself the whole way upstairs, which is not unusual; what is unusual, however is that when she gets upstairs she looks at me and says "i'm talking to my bottom, mommy".

what?

you're talking...to your bottom?

ok, i'll play along. "what's it saying?"

"it's saying you're a silly billy head."

see? unusual.

have a great weekend!

Nap? What Nap?

"And now," said Max, "Let the wild rumpus start!"
from Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak (1963)

Little Hef

in no way am i promoting that my baby grow up to be in any way like hugh hefner, but i do think he looks rather smooth, rather pimpin' and rather comfortable in his new livin'-the-life-of-leisure robe. wouldn't you agree?

and here is his best scary-alien-monster impression. annie has the pink version, but believe me when i tell you i can't catch her in it to get a picture. as soon as i put it on her she turns into a scary monster and she runs around saying "Booooooooo....BOOOOOOO!" and giggling. i'll try to get a snap of it after the next bath.

Back to School

so i started school last night. that christmas present from my loving husband? the creative writing class? started last night. i just stopped sweating from the nerves. magically i was able to will the vomit away by convincing myself that throwing up in front of my class would surely be more embarrassing than anything i write that i may have to read to them. i was a theater major. you would think i could act my way through the nerves. pretend to be someone very confident. i did many plays. i did one of them in the buff and some of them close enough to buff that clothes were simply a technicality. i tripped on stage, i flubbed lines, i broke props but never, never, never was i ever as nervous then as i was last night in class when i had to introduce myself. honestly. you'd think i'm 4.

in any case, i didn't throw up, i didn't run out, i didn't collapse, i did just fine. in fact, i quite enjoyed myself. i even felt smart for one very brief moment when the professor couldn't recall who wrote "world according to garp" and everyone else in the class was looking blank, i said "irving" like come on, people let's get with the program. and then that was the end of my feeling bright for the evening because it was time for business. our first writing exercise. this is precisely the whole reason this class is going to serve me so well: it's someone else giving me a task to complete and not only that, it is - on a much simpler level - exercising my brain. forcing me to write. it's good.

after we spent a few minutes writing, he had us stop and then asked for volunteers to read. i could feel the heat making it's way back to my cheeks as i stared intently at my notebook hoping he wasn't just going to start picking people. please, no. thank goodness he's not that kind of teacher, though he did busy my chops for avoiding eye contact. that's fine. i just need another week, then i'll be ready to volunteer. also, once i heard some other folk's readings i thought "ok, i can do this." there are a few people in the class who are goooo-ooooood, but this is also the 2nd, 3rd, 4th writing class/workshop they've done. so they don't count.

anyway, it was good stuff. i can't wait to go back. i can't wait to start my homework (never thought i'd hear myself say that), and i can't wait to see what i produce from this.

i will try my best to keep the blogging up, but i'm not sure what my schedule will allow what with all my homework and reading i need to do. hahahaha. i'll try, though.

ps. the kids are great, jasper took one clumsy step from me to the couch the other day so he is almost there. annie is doing great but has been spending more and more time in "time out" as she learns that she can't say scream "NO! I WON'T!" and "I'M NOT GOING TO [insert any activity here]".

Monthly Archives - Annie Month 38

dear annie,

you have really begun to assert your independence. at the same time, however, you sometimes choose to be dependent. our days are filled with "i want to do [insert activity] allll by myself" or "i can do this myself" or "i don't need help, i can do it all myself", etc. you own the playground at this point, there is nothing there you can't do. you are fearless almost to the point of giving me a heart attack. i will look over and there you are, balancing both feet and hands on one metal bar until your brain decides which limb can let go and reach for safety. it's terrifying but amazing to watch. i do love watching you figure things out all by yourself.

there are times, though, that you still need your mommy. buttoning your pants or shirt is still a very tricky prospect, getting those shoes on is sometimes a pickle, and sometimes you need to be carried upstairs. i think sometimes you are as bummed out about not being a baby anymore as i am. you will sometimes just stand and reach your arms up to me and say "up, up" like you are still my little baby and sometimes i could just eat you up because it's so sweet and even though you will always be my little baby, you are quickly turning in to a big girl and it's kind of hard to let go. for both of us.

you and jasper have really formed a strong bond in the past month or two. daddy and i realized the other day that you are officially a team now. you work together for the greater good, you stick up for eachother, you are more on eachother's side now than you were previously. it's fun to watch because jasper is just starting to get it, and you are like his little coach. i could have melted away the other day because jasper was up from his nap and i started to go get him but then i had to run and grab something and he started crying and you ran into his room, climbed up on the bean bag and stroked his head and said - i kid you not - "i'm here, jasper. i'm here". i nearly started crying it was the sweetest gesture i've ever seen. and jasper stopped crying. he loves you that much. he gets so excited to see you when he wakes up and you are always so excited to see him, too. you always want to come and get him with me and you say "cam i tickle him? cam i? cam i?!" and jasper just starts jumping like crazy in his crib, i swear one day he's going to launch himself right over the edge.

you have really started to play well by yourself, too. daddy and i love to listen in on you when you are in your playroom or just playing by yourself along side us. you will take on this big, deep voice when you are being one of the "bad guys" when you play princesses, or you will talk as your babies and say things like "here you go baby, here's your snack" or "don't throw your food, baby" or "you're a messy baby!" and i realize that what you are really doing is mocking your mother. you love singing, you love reading your books and coloring. by the way, you are getting to be a really good colerer. you are getting closer to keeping things in the lines and you have a color for each thing now, not just a big scribble. also, you are really good at the game "memory". when you are focused and paying attention you are really good. like, really good. daddy and i marvel at how bad our memory's are and how sharp yours is. wow.

keep up the good work, peanut. we love you so much and couldn't be more proud of what a wonderful little girl you are.

love, mommy

My Two Fearless Wonders

these two are not afraid of anything. it's almost impossible for me to take them to the playground by myself because in the time it takes for me to make sure annie doesn't fall, jasper has already climbed the stairs and gone down the slide by himself. please see exhibits a.) and b.):

a.)


b.)



seriously, all of the sudden jasper just loooooves the slide. he crawls up the steps by himself and then shoots down the slide - head first. no fear. only giggles.



and then there is annie, who decided that she can do all of it by herself - including what to me looks like a toddler death trap. so the other day we were at the playground and she started climbing up this thing, to which my reaction was "no, no honey, that's too big for you" to which she replied "it's not too big! i can do it alllll by myself" and then she proceeded to prove me wrong.



one day annie got to the top part up there and i'm all "ohhhh, be careful, watch what you're doing..." and annie says "it's ok down there, i'm doing it all by myself!". it's ok down there? what, i know i am thinking it's dangerous and all, but she's talking to me like she's 400 feet off the ground, not 4. oh, and she figured out the fastest way down the slide is on ones knees, not ones tooshie.

i realized every video i take at the playground begins with me saying "be careful", like somehow that lets me off the hook if one of the kids falls and breaks their face while i was too busy videotaping to save them. oh well, at least we got some good footage.

Not Sure We've Been Entirely Effective

i had to do another post today because annie just said something both alarming and funny. so, you know how you need to teach your children the dangers of poison (ie. cleaning products, etc)? well, we have been trying to instill in annie and especially our resident poison-lover, jasper, that the things found under the sink in the kitchen are very dangerous and poisonous. i have generally come to refer to everything under the sink as "poison". dish soap? poison. sponges? poison. rubber gloves? poison.

now, with annie we never had a problem keeping her out of certain cupboards when she was a baby. we gave her the drawer in the kitchen that had all the plastic containers in it and she could play all she wanted in that drawer. she was perfectly happy doing so, and never waivered, unless it was to the drawer above, the potholder drawer. under the sink was never a temptation for her. jasper, on the other hand, wants nothing to do with the entire cupboard over which we have given him free reign. no, he only wants to get under the sink. he only wants the poison and nothing but the poison. except when he wants my only nice glass vase, which he pulled out of a cupboard and broke. i know, my fault for putting it down low.

needless to say, i have finally had to purchase cabinet locks because jasper is too much of a trouble maker. never had to use them for annie, but jasper is another story.

i digress, though, because this isn't about jasper, it is in fact about annie. i was just loading the dishwasher and she was "helping" and she said, "mommy we have to put the poison in here", pointing to the spot where you put the dishwasher soap. so i said, yes, that's right, that's where the soap goes. then she goes to the cabinet under the sink and says "i need to get the poison" and i tried to explain to her that, no, you don't need to get the poison. the reason it is poison is because it is dangerous to you and therefore you should not touch it.

apparently that point hasn't really been made clear though, because, as far as annie is concerned we might as well be saying "puppies" or "candy" or "princesses" instead of poison. so after i told her to not open that cupboard because the poison is under there and it is not a toy, she replied:

"i loooooooooooooooooooooooooove poison!"

Strange

the first strange thing i noticed is that when i logged on to my blog, over on the right margin below that picture of annie and jasper where it says "gina. somewhere, texas"...well, today it said "somewhere, texas. afghanistan". what?! then i open it up to fix it and all this weird stuff is there like my astrological sign and my job is listed as accounting, which is not so much odd as HYSTERICAL because we all know how skilled i am with the numbers. so, either i left my blog open at one point and annie was messing around, or addison thought it would be funny, or someone is hacking in to my blog and making me out to be some accountant from afghanistan. hm. which is more strange?

speaking of strange. here's a picture for you. i want you to pick out which thing is the most bizarre in this picture:

is it:

a.) that annie is wearing jasper's overalls but totally thought they were hers...

b.) that ferris' butthole is inadvertantly the predominant focus of the picture, or...

c.) is it that jasper looks like he is at some weirdio evangelical pray fest where people speak in tongues and make you pass out by blowing on your face?

you decide.

It's State Policy, Ma'am

did you know that you can't get a driver's license in texas unless you have a car? i didn't either, until this morning, but apparently that is the case. excuse me while i rant for a moment on how utterly irksome the dps is. *insert big, grumbly sigh*

so, i made the decision this morning to get presentable (ie. wash sleepy crud out of eyes, throw on a bit of mascara and run a flat iron through the bedhead) and skip on over to the dps to get my texas drivers license. i figure it's about time i do that since a certain husband of mine just had to pay a ridiculously expensive fine for NOT having said texas drivers license after residing in the state for more than one month. anywho, i load the kids into the car, drop annie off at school and japper and i cruise on over to the dps where - i'm thinking - i can just "buzz in" and get 'er done. i don't know what i was thinking. as addison said to me on the phone a short while ago after i finished complaining, "you are the only person i've ever heard use the word 'dps' and 'buzz in quick' in the same sentence". true, i suppose, but i thought first thing in the morning it would be a breeze.

we get there and of course the place is already full, but it's not horrible. then we get to the check-in desk where the dps lady informs me that she needs to see my insurance and car registration whereupon the gigantic question mark forms over my head...? huh? seriously? you need to actually own a car to get a drivers license? since when? "it's state policy ma'am". oh, now you're calling me ma'am?! just stop. be quiet. here is my license and HERE is my social security card and that is ALL YOU SHOULD NEED. now GET me my new LICENSE! oh no. no. we need to see your texas registration...it's state policy that you are required to have a texas motor vehicle registration in order to get a drivers license. again, so confused by this. and so i say "really? that's just weird." and then i start mumbling on my way out "ok....most ridiculous...doesn't make any sense...stupid place...hate this (#$&^ place...ugh.." and then i bash the stroller into the door on the way out and give poor japper whiplash on account of my annoyance. i was just mad because the registration wasn't in my car and it was filed in the file cabinet at home and i knew that it would probably be another month before i got back to the dps again.

ok so that's done.

in other news, annie has a new catchphrase. so she has a bunch of these books about this brother and sister - charlie and lola - and she loves these books. she watches the show and nearly every night we read her the books. addison is charlie and i am lola and we're british and it's as much fun for us to read as it is for annie to listen. she has heard them so many times she can recite them with us. they are really cute books, too. so clever and cute. BUT. it's cute when it's little british lola saying these things, but actually not-so-cute when it's our own annie. for example. one of the books is called "i'm not sleepy and i will not go to bed". cute enough. harmless enough. until you ask annie to do something, like say, yesterday when we were at the park and i said we have to go home now and she said "i'm not going and i will not go". funny at first, but then you think "hmmm, that actually sounds really rude and snotty coming out of your mouth". and now she says versions of this very frequently. last night she actually said "i'm not tired and i will not go to sleep". lovely.

What Season is it?

today is absolutely one of my favorite kinds of days. mind you, for january, this is very strange weather to a midwestern girl; but still, i love this weather. it is warm. it is, i suppose, about 75 degrees outside. it is cloudy. not the dreary kind of cloudy, but the warm, still, something's brewing kind of cloudy. it reminds me of those warm summer days on mom and dad's farm. it's quiet, except for the breeze that rattles all of the closed doors in the house. i was just upstairs laying down with annie - in a failed attempt to lull her off to sleep - when suddenly the wind picked up and blew the curtains up like marilyn monroe's skirt in "the seven year itch". you could hear the vacuum effect of the wind coming in to annie's room, swirling about, hitting her door and getting sucked back outside. just wild. i love it. i don't know how annie can't fall asleep in this because i find it so calming. it's that kind of day where all the lights are off in the house and all the windows are open and it smells like spring. it smells like thunderstorms and long days and naps. i think today for the first time i realized how quiet this neighborhood is. i don't think i had noticed prior because we always have the windows closed. now that the windows are open i can actually hear the quiet - if that makes sense. it's delicious. it's january. have i mentioned how weird that is for me to rationalize in my head? it seems like it should be may. it feels and smells like it should be may.

you know what else is odd - but pretty awesome? i'll tell you. in a couple of weeks at annie's school they are having what is called "snow day". no, it's not a day that we don't have school because it's -45 wind chill with zero visibility due to blowing snow. no, this "snow day" is a day where they bring a snow machine in and they make snow and they put it all over the hill next to the school and the kids can sled and make snow angels and snowmen and frolic in the "snow". isn't that cute? annie will be thrilled because she still hasn't stopped talking about the snow. she misses it. it's weird, but she misses this:

then again, when you're 2 and you don't have to shovel, it's pretty awesome to be up to your eyeballs in snow. anyway, texas has their own version of the "snow day". it'll probably melt faster than they can make it, but it'll be fun to watch nonetheless.

Relapse

UPDATE:
for someone who never gets sick, bronchitis and a sinus infection are too much for my immune system - they were caught off guard. that's why it feels like a man-cold. ugh. so, two hours, one z-pack, one prescription decongestant and one inhaler later i should be on my way to getting well.

it's worse than i thought. it's a full-on man-cold. it might even be something more. i'm going to urgent care this morning to find out. can't breathe. coughing up lung. mucous taking over. i. might. not. make. it...

here, here are some cute pics of the kids so you don't have to be left with just my whining.

sick

i'm sick, but it's not as bad how it will be if/when addison gets sick:

haoot bew tear/1

multiple choice:

that title is the result of what happens after
a.) too much whoopin' it up on new year's eve
b.) misplacing hands on the keyboard

i would love to be able to say the correct answer is "a", but then i would be lying. addison and i barely made it to the start of the evening news, let alone the new year. yeeee haaawwwww! watch out, because it's a crazy-party-time at our house! yow!

in any case, happy new year. hope you had a wonderful new year's eve full of all the fun and festive-ness you wanted. actually, our new year's was perfect and we rang it in exactly as we wanted to: we had a couple of delicious filets for dinner, complete with sweet potato fries served with a garlic and lemon aioli, along side and a romaine salad with candied pecans, gorgonzola, red onion and pear and some homemade vinagrette. mmm. then, we retired to the family room for some serious backgammon and then nestled in on the couch to watch a couple of episodes of "house" that we hadn't yet seen. that's when addison started snoring. soon after, i began to doze and finally at 10:15 i said "ok, we're going to bed. we didn't make it and we're not going to". so, we rang the new year in the best way we could - in our dreams. ahhhhh.

the weather has been amazing for the past couple of days. i think yesterday it got to 75. and sunny. gross, right? so, we took the kids to the park and had a little picnic and watched daddy try his hand at his new unicycle.

oh, and here is a cute vid of the kids going down the slide together for the first time. just try to tear jasper away from the playground. you want to see him get cranky, that's how.