Things I Evidently Repeat Over and Over Again

before i get to the thanksgiving/trip-to-sd recap, i just wanted to get this down so i don't forget: 1. how funny it is and 2. how utterly ridiculous the things we parents say to our kids and, with that, how ineffectual we are. so i'm trying to get the bannister wrapped with garland and lights in an effort to christmas-ify our home. annie and jasper are running around playing and pretty soon annie is upstairs calling after jasper - who is still downstairs, "jaaaasper, come on! come on, jasper!"

after a minute or two, her patience begins to run out that jasper has not heeded her call, so she says, in a still very playful tone (which makes it all the more embarrassing for me):

"jasper. i've asked you one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, TWELVE times to come up here! if i have to count to ten you're going to be in biiiiiiiiiiig trouble, jasper!"

this is me shaking my head as i check one more thing off the list of things-i-have-done-or-said-as-a-parent-that-i-swore-i-would-never-do-or-say.

Cowboy Weekend

we took a mini-trip up to ft. worth this weekend to visit with mama lola and papa jack and because our minneapolis contingent was down for a visit. annie got yet another birthday party and we had fun getting the kiddos together for some good cousin time.

the theme of the weekend inadvertantly became "cowboys", as we did a number of activities that involved the wild west...or southwest, as it were.

saturday we drove in to old ft. worth and watched the marching of the longhorn. got a cowboy hat. or two. some of us had a run-in with "big jake". (by the way, see how his tail is lifted in that pic with nicki? oh yes he DID.) landed in a bar with saddle stools. quenched our thirst. then we headed home for a chik-fil-a lunch followed by birthday cake and a few more goods for the birthday girl, who proclaims, "i like being 4!" had some down time and then geared up to go to a local steak house/cowboy house/mad house. this place was rockin'. with a dance floor, a giant slide and a "happy birthday" every 10 minutes, annie was sure she landed in birthday heaven. and the steaks were tastylicious to boot.

sunday was cinnamon rolls and football, followed by a little taste of thanksgiving: turkey, stuffin', and sweet potaters. enough to put us all in to a food coma. just in time to get in to the car and drive our tired butts home and get ready for a new week.

next stop: south dakota in 2 days. and ONE MORE birthday party for annie. stay tuned.

One More Thing About The Pancake Puff

so remember when i said the thing about the power of advertising?

so, we ran a couple of errands today, came home and annie walked in to the kitchen and saw the box for the pancake puff on the counter and she said. AND I QUOTE:

"No more pizza deliveries! Now you can make your own PIZZA PUFFS!"

i'm pretty sure if you see the commercial that you will hear that exact phrase.

and then, a few minutes later when i pulled out a piece of leftover pizza to reheat for lunch, she again said, "it's like i said mommy. no more pizza deliveries, now you can make pizza puffs."

hello? pancake puff people? need a spokestoddler?

Not 4 Yet, But It's Gonna Be Good!

annie got the first taste of birthday yesterday, as we had a little gathering with the cousins yesterday afternoon so she could open their present and share her castle cake* with them before we head up to dallas for the weekend to see the grandparents and cousin henry, who flew down from MN!

*a little disclaimer on the castle cake. i am not and never claimed to be a baker. i'm a fairly capable cook, but baking - particularly when it involves decorating - is certainly not my forte. i do, however, love to do it if just to see annie say things like "it's so beautiful, mommy!" and "i love this pretty cake. it's fabulastic!" "i love the flowers!" and especially, "i love the frosting it looks so yummy!" because, see, there was a little issue with the frosting. yes the cake had cooled. yes it was smooth and room temperature and all that, yet still when i went to spread it, it just picked up pieces of cake as i went. grrrr. but, annie thinks it's pretty and that's all that counts. in her eyes, it's a masterpiece. so, don't look to close. better yet, step back and squint your eyes to look at the castle cake - it's like those trick-3D picture things where you have to look through the picture to really see it...or something.

one of annie's presents this year was a dollhouse. there is a toystore here where they have this dollhouse on display and every time we'd go there, annie would plant herself in front of the thing and play with it until it was time to leave. she loved that thing. and for a year she's been talking about how she wants a dollhouse. until now she just had a little fisher price thing, which she never took a whole lot of interest in. i am someday planning on giving her all of my old dollhouse furniture, but she's still a few years away from that, so we thought this would be perfect. and so, aunt niki and i trekked to the toy store one day about a month ago and we found an even cuter dollhouse than the original one, and niki bought it for annie for her birthday present. it sat in our attic until yesterday, when we finally got to set it up (hello, total fun for niki and i) and give it to annie.

(i know, i know, the socks. again.)

then, we let her open two more of her presents and we'll save the other two for her actual birthday on saturday. she got a digital camera which she was so excited about, and - brace yourselves - the Pancake Puff. i know it's a little weird, to get a 4 year-old something from an infomercial, but seriously, the girl is WILD about the pancake puff. we have pancakes every weekend. or waffles. annie loooooves pancakes. really, this is all about the power of advertising. as a former workhouse of the advertising industry, it is interesting to watch a 3 year old get sold something. i guess nickelodeon has commercials for a reason. they say that they are for the parents - who by god better be watching tv at all times with your children hahahahaahah - but really, if a 3 year old can get it, recite it verbatim and want it, well then, they've done their job, haven't they?

anyway, just look at her reaction:

how could we deny her that excitement?

and then the camera:

it looks like 4 is shaping up to be a good year.

Partners in Crime

annie and jasper have entered a new phase in their relationship: teamwork. or, as i lovingly refer to it: the we-have-more-power-over-the-parentals-when-we-work-together-against-them phase.

see how cute?

they just love running around together...

...hugging and whatnot.

wrestling...

it's so cute. you should see their faces when they're done. annie has a giant scratch in the corner of her eye and jasper has a few on his face as well.

oh yes, and here's the latest in games-we-play-to-drive-mom-and-dad-crazy.

Rehearsing For The Day When There Is No More Stage Fright

***UPDATE***
the first vid didn't work, but it should be all set now. thanks!

at home, no stage fright.

on stage, there is nothing but fright. but i bet the more she practices like this, the more confident she'll get.

History

because my punkin's are too little to understand what the president of the united states is or does, and because this blog is for them to know what happened during their childhood while they were busy living it, i felt it was important to comment for a moment on the history that was made last night.

last night, barack obama became the first african american president of the united states. i don't know about you, but i think it speaks volumes to how much america has changed in the past 50 years (and beyond). sure, there are still some folks who choose to live in a segregated world, and though i don't and never will understand it, i wonder if maybe some of those folks will be able to come around. perhaps now real change can happen. and perhaps it will. the audacity of hope, right?

it's a big deal. momentous, really. and i'm excited. some may say it's idealistic or naive to think that one man really can make that much change, but you know what? i'm excited to find out. people doubted he could even get the nomination, let alone win the election, so who knows?! i have to say though, it feels good to be hopeful instead of cynical. and man, he can give a speech. i'm all cheesy and sentimental, but it makes me teary watching this video and thinking about how historical this really is and how i'm so glad to be a part of it.

Decision 2008

it's a big day, folks. can you feel it in the air?

get off yer bums and go vote!

Halloweeners

even with my love for all things sweet and chocolatey, sour and chewy, i don't see how we'll ever be able to consume all of this candy.

remember when we were young and we went trick-or-treating and each house only gave ONE piece of candy? apparently that rule no longer applies. the kids got handfuls at every house we stopped at, it was unbelievable. not only that but ,oddly enough, we had more trick-or-treaters last year when there were about half the houses in the neighborhood.

but let's back up for a sec. look at our little fred and daphne:

i know. really cute. oh, and we can't forget Scooby:

well, annie wasn't lying when she said she wasn't going to cry or be scared to say "trick or treat". she was all about it. and once jasper figured out what people were putting in to his little jack-o-lantern, he was all about it too. folks would barely get the front door open and jasper would just barge his way in to their foyers and hold out his jack-o-lantern and mumble some form of "trick or treat", usually sounding more like "wick a weet".

it was so fun to watch. we plopped the kids in the wagon and did a big loop around the 'hood. we met some new neighbors, which is always scary nice, and we had some chats with those we already knew. i have to say, it feels more and more like "home" 'round these parts, now that we're getting to know more of our neighbors. and i've never been one for socializing with the neighbs, so this is a big step for me. but dudes, people are weird. i just needed to put that out there.

the best part of the night - for addison and i - was when we approached the "scary" house. there is a lady down the street who goes all out and dresses up like a scary witch, has scary music playing, and has animatronic (did i just make that up?) witches, skeletons and bats all over her yard. annie knew that we were only stopping by houses that were lit up, so, as we approached the scary house, she said "let's go to that house!". of course, she could not see what awaited. i said to addison "it's going to scare the s*** out of them" and he responded, "good!" and so we parked the wagon at the end of the front walk, got the kids down, and...

(side note: as we were parking a wagon, the group in front of us was just leaving with 2 of their 4 kids crying)

...annie was still all sorts of excited. she was skipping up the front walk and then she saw it. she stopped dead in her tracks and backed up and said "i don't want to go there!" at witch (pun intended) point jasper turned tail and ran to the curb saying "noooooo, nooooo!" addison regrouped with annie and i got jasper and carried him to the front door. they were both very concerned that maybe we weren't going to make it out of this. no amount of candy would be worth what this witch might do to us. jasper never took his eyes off this witch-lady who giveth the candy. he accepted, of course, but not without suspicion. when we turned to leave i told jasper to say bye-bye and he turned his head, very slowly, back to the witch, held up his free hand and whispered ever-so-quietly, "bye bye". it was hily-larious.

i wish i had video of that interlude, but alas, i don't. i have but one video from the evening - it's from the very first house we visited. note annie's excitement but also her nervousness as she gently pushes jasper to go first. love.

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeen!

part two.

as promised, we carved pumpkins the other night and as promised, the kids did not want to come within a country mile of the guts.

i love how jasper sticks the shovel in there and pulls it out - with nothing on it - and dramatically dumps the "contents" into the bowl. i also love the look on his face when he actually touches the guts. haaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!

and then there's annie, who has a near-meltdown from fear her hands will get dirty.

did you notice how great jasper is enunciating these days? what? you couldn't understand him saying "pumpkin"? huh, that's odd...

after all was said and done, though, we did get the kiddos to help us pull some of the guts out. annie said she thought the pumpkins smelled really yummy (gag) and then addison informed me that the pumpkin smell is an aphrodisiac or something. huh.

you can see the finished product up above there...except for this one.

cool, isn't it? it was addison's bright idea but then i got stuck with the task of carving it out. am still recovering from the carpal tunnel in my hand, but otherwise it actually turned out pretty awesome. can't wait to light that baby up tonight!

Poverty Thursday #3 - The Water

it's one of those things.

i can't even remember how we ended up with a 5-gallon water system thingy, but we did. actually, i think it was addison's idea. he hates the taste of our tap water. i can drink tap water - it doesn't bother me at all - but i am now a slave to the 5-gallon and even though i have to walk BY THE SINK to get to our water dispenser, i always, always take my water bottle to the big water bottle for refills.

it's not just that though, you know what else? it has a hot water tap on it. and it's not just hot water. it's boiling, burning, scalding hot water and i would be lost if i had to actually boil a teapot of water to make the kids' oatmeal in the morning. in fact, on the days where the 5-gallon is empty and i've forgotten to have addison put a new one on, (because dangit those babies are heavy and awkward and annoying to chang out) i will just tell annie we don't have any more oatmeal. i will lie. to. my daughter. that's how much i love require the hot water feature on the 5-gal. if for no other reason than that, we will always have between a $37-50 monthly spring-water bill.

make sense? no.

constitue an unneeded monthly bill, the money saved which could be applied toward something more important, like, say, pedicures? yes.

worth it to make instant oatmeal-making even more instant? most definitely. the end. amen.

i'm glad we had this little talk.

Monthly Archives - Jasper Month 25

dear jasper,

you celebrated 25 months with a fever, and then a higher fever, and then finally a high enough fever that the ear-infection-red-flag went up and we took a visit to dr. mac. a little azithro, a little ciprodex and we should be good here in another day or so. you're still very tired; i've been having to wake you up in the mornings and after nap. i think it's a combination of sleepy, the dark in your room in the mornings and the f-f-f-f-reezing cold it's been the past week or so.

ok, ok i know it's not f-f-f-freezing. but it is cold. by texas standards.

we've had a busy month of halloween preparations and, i have to say, i can't wait to get you in to your costume. you are going to be the spitting image! and your sister is going to be so cute, too. i apologize in advance for daddy and i not stepping up to round out the crew, but you know, we're too unorganized. i am anxious to see how you do with trick-or-treating this year. i think following your sister's lead it will be no problem, particularly once you see what people are handing out. fun! tonight is pumpkin-carving night; i'm also anxious to see how you'll do with the guts. you will hardly put your hands on play-doh, so i don't know.

so this morning we had your little halloween "pumpkin patch" party at mdo (that's Mother's Day Out, come on catch up) and you were thrilled to see me come back after dropping you off this morning (a little bit crabby after the sick day). however, when i left again after the party...not so much a fan of that. it was the only time so far that you have been bawling when i leave. so sad. anyway, it was cute. we took your class outside to the little pumpkin patch and tried to get a picture of your class. here's the best one i got of the whole class. then, all hell broke loose and kids were crying, and moving and crying and pushing, and crying and it was pretty entertaining. all the while you just sat there being so good until the girl with the wings kept knocking you in the face with her wings and you snuck out the back and left. you kind of cooperated to get a picture with me, but mostly you just wanted to play with your friends and in the playhouse. fine. i get it. when we're home you're a mama's boy, when you're with your friends, you don't know me. i get it.

well, little dude, the addition of chicken nuggets and fish sticks in to your food repertoire has helped pack another pound on your bones in less than 30 days. you were 27# 3 oz. at the doctor yesterday! keep it up, dude. you are almost as tall as your sister. and your feet are almost as big. i had to (yes, had to) go shopping yesterday to get you some more pants and shirts because everything was either a flood or a half-shirt. and we can't have that.

oh. one of my new favorite things you do is say your prayers now at night. you've seen me do them with annie and every now and then i'd do them with you, but now we do them every night because you are actually helping. you just lay there and you sort of make the sign of the cross - actually, it looks like the hectic-circle-thingy that daddy does when he tries to look pious in church - and you smile and hold your hands together. then when we get to the end i say "god bless jasper" and you pretty much finish the rest. you say "co-ey" which is either cody or cory...it's cody if followed or preceded by pre-ley, laa-ey, or nik-nik...it's cory if followed by "haa-ey" or "kaee-y" (they sometimes meld together). you are really good and LOUD at "JAY!" and you do well at mama and papa and mama-lola and papa-JACK (another easy one)..hmm...maybe it's a "j" thing...he ehee. of course you always say "aaa-nee" and mommy and daddy and i think you say ferris, but i still don't know WHAT you call him. it doesn't always sound like ferris. anyway, it's cute. and i love it. and then you say "amen" and it's super cute.

oh, and i know i've been rambling on at this point, but i just wanted to say one more thing about how you are WORKING ME OVER right now. so, the other night - sunday - when you woke up in the night screaming and with a high fever, i gave you motrin and then rocked you until you calmed down. then, i put you back to bed and you went right to sleep. on monday, you woke up again - not screaming, but a little fussy - so i went in to check on you and you sat up and said "rock". so, because you were still sicky, i rocked you. knowing. knowing that you were starting something. yesterday when i put you down for your nap you layed in your bed for 45 minutes jabbering and when i finally went in (bad me) to say "go to SLEEP", you stood up as soon as the door opened and said "rock". and what did i do? rocked you. LAST NIGHT, you did the same stunt. you layed in bed not sleeping for a good hour-hour and a half and i went in and you stood up, smiled, pointed to the rocking chair and said, "rock".

and of course, i did. because you're my baby. my koala. and i love you.

love, mommy

Got Water?

i stumbled across this scene a few nights ago when i was opening windows over on addison's side of the bed. for some reason, i couldn't stop laughing. usually one glass of water will suffice to get a person through the night...but 3? bottles? it still makes me laugh.

The Great Pumpkin Hunt

we took the kids over to a little pumpkin patch on saturday to let them pick out their pumpkins, but first addison made them sit down at the table and draw what shape of pumpkin they wanted so that, when presented with all the options, they would already know what to pick. really, it was just a way to burn some time while i got things ready.

of course, as soon as we arrived and unleashed the punks on the punkin's, annie went directly to this:

now, if you look down at that real warty-looking-mess-of-a-pumpkin by her leg, that was actually her first choice...but, if you'll refer to exhibit A, this is NOT what she drew and therefore NOT what she was allowed to pick. (though, i have to admit, there is something so sweet about her picking the ugliest pumpkin to want to take home...i hope it speaks to what a caring, accepting, loving person she is and will be in the future)

carving will commece in a few days and of course, i will post all the pictures of annie and jasper not sticking their hands in the pumpkin guts.

Annie-ism #10,000

yesterday the kids were playing outside while addison was grilling the steaks for our fajitas (i know, YUM), and at one point he sent annie inside to get the tray for the steaks. ferris came in with her - thinking he might get some kind of food - and when annie turned to go back outside she grabbed ferris' collar and said, "come on, little buddy!"

(photo courtesy annie-liebowicz-johnston)

we've created a dog lover, and i couldn't be happier.

Fried-day

jasper woke up shivering today. could be that he has been on the verge of a cold for a few days now...OR it could be the fact i left his window open last night and it was, oh, 50 degrees in his room this morning. poor guy was laying on his hands, not moving except for the shivering.

we dropped annie at school, went to target then the grocery store and then we got home and he did what you see above - collapsed into a sad, pathetic, sick heap on the floor. not 10 minutes later when i was sitting beside him talking to my mama, he fell asleep on my legs. so sad. now he's up in his bed with a fever, catching some restorative Zzzzzz's.

poor thing, he has a man-cold. but he's actually good at getting sympathy. he could teach his daddy a few things about a good man-cold.

Poverty Thursday #2

advice from my older, wiser, older brother:

"I've got it! Just take one day...thursday and spend no money, it probably equals a weeks worth of coupons (cutting, planning , thinking of meals)I mean who really can do that unless you are not WORKING!"

touche.

Monthly Archives - Annie Month 47

dear annie,

i'm not sure what happened to month 46 but it's not there. i may have forgotten, i may have miscounted somewhere along the way...please forgive. the older you get the harder it is for me to find material for a monthly update letter. i mean, since this whole blog is about you and jasper anyway, now that you aren't really on a monthly schedule of growth and change, it's tough. i know, poor me. anyway, i'm just preparing you for what may happen once you turn 4: i may not write you a letter every month. oh i'll do it now and then, but i can't promise monthly.

there. i said it. let the resentment begin.

anyway peanut, you are still plenty of fun and certainly have gotten more and more entertaining the older you get. the things you say, the way you sing like no one's listening and dance like no one's watching...you are awesome. i freak-a-frackin' love you so much.

there is milestone we need to talk about. it was a huge one for me. i've been waiting. i've been waiting since i was 6 and wore a red pompom on my head at halloween: you watched "Annie" with me. and no, i didn't name you for the red-headed orphan, but i may as well have. it remains one of my all-time favorite movies ever. and you watched it. i seriously, seriously got teary when we were listening to annie sing "maybe" from the window of the orphanage and you said, "she have a great voice!" and then during "it's a hard knock life" you said, "i love this annie movie!". i could just hug you til you're blue. i was so happy.

i questioned whether or not you'd be ready for it - whether you could comprehend the story or be interested in something not animated...but you were. mind you, i think the whole point of her not having a mommy and daddy and being an orphan maybe was too much for you, you did definitely know that mrs. hannigan was bad and "that guy named rooster" is bad and so is the lady with the white hair. you got that. mostly, it was just fun to watch you watch it and to finally get to share something i've loved for so long with someone who - i'm guessing here - will love it, too. it brought back memories for me of seeing it with my grandma mc when it came out in the theater - the day cory and grandpa (i think grandpa went with cory) to "dune"...remember that, co!? or was it "red dawn"? so awesome. i remember getting the album - the vinyl lp - of the Annie soundtrack and laying right down by the speakers and belting out "tomorrow" and telling all my friends my mom thought i sounded just like annie. and now you love it, too. and i couldn't be happier. next stop: little house on the prairie.

look how cute you looked on school picture day:

now those socks are supposed to be knee-socks and guess what? when i picked you up from school, you had folded them down. i give up.

that's all for now, punky. stay tuned later this week for more video footage of you being the next hannah montana...or fergie, as it were.

love you, pumpkin,

mommy

Poverty Thursday

i'm sure - like many americans watching our 401k's, mutual funds and IRA's shrink to depressing levels - that you too are looking for ways to stretch your worthless dollars. and so, in an effort to make you feel less alone, i bring to you, "poverty thursday" - where i try to help you come up with creative ways to pinch some pennies.

today's lesson: robbing your children's piggy banks.

kidding.

it's all about coupons, people. you can mock, you can poke fun, you can roll your eyes and call me lame, i don't care. i have become a coupon-cutter. and user. that's right. after years of standing behind coupon-users at the grocery store and making fun of their efforts to save $2.00, i have joined their ranks. it happened a couple of months ago when addison and i started noticing that the price of gas was taking a toll on our monthly budget. i knew we could do better so i decided to give the coupons a test run. but more than just coupon cutting, it's about...

planning. you have to be willing to plan. meals. and honestly, this takes a lot of stress out of my life. knowing every day what we're eating for dinner makes life soooo much easier. i admit, it's a hard habit to get into, but once you do it you'll never go back.

so here's what i do: i sit down on Sunday with the paper and cut coupons. i separate them in to three categories: food, household cleaning and toiletries. for now, i just have them clipped together in a beaten-up envelope in my desk drawer, but someday i have big plans for some kind of divided pages in a pretty box or something. baby steps.

*important note: the key is to only cut coupons you will use. don't cut the coupon for some ridiculous microwavable-meat-and-potatoes-meal if you know you have never and will never eat that. even if it's a good coupon. if you're buying things you don't use, you will actually end up spending MORE money, therefore totally defeating the purpose of using coupons.

ok. next you need to plan your meals. there are a zillion and one ways to do this and there are even more thrifty ways of doing it, but here's what i do. i sit down with a couple of cookbooks and decide between what we already have in the pantry and freezer and what coupons i have and then i try to pick meals that use the same fresh herbs, for example, so i don't have to spend a million dollars on fresh herbs. then again, if you have an herb garden you get extra points and good job! this saves boatloads. also, i always have my pantry stocked with basics like canned tomatoes, pasta, chicken broth, etc. these items get used a lot.

now go shopping. if you don't already make your shopping list in the order of how the store is laid out, you need to start doing it. saves time and money. unless you live in new york or something and you have to go to 3 separate places for your groceries, but that is neither here nor there. ok.

another tip i learned the other day while watching oprah. am i sounding more susie- homemaker by the second or what? yep, i was ironing while i was doing it. in my cute little 50's dress. sorry, making myself laugh over here. anyway, there was a super insane-o coupon lady on this oprah and along with buying three sunday papers every week, she also - which i have not yet done, but plan on looking closer at - plans her meals in accordance with what the store has on sale that week. she was getting free stuff left and right with her combination of coupons and store sales - i was so impressed. another good tip: always buy your meats on sale. stores usually have specials on specific things - for example - the other day i was looking for chicken breast tenderloins because i use them for my yummy chicken piccata recipe. i found them on sale for $1.40 each package. that's huge, people. chicken is expensive. so i stocked up and stuck a couple in the freezer for later. this is smart shopping.

anyway, the first time out with my coupons i took our weekly grocery bill from about $125 to $80. i was mucho impressed with myself. the oprah lady? she bought $120 worth of groceries for $40!!! holy crapola! that's what, a 70% reduction in grocery expenses? da-yum!

one more thing: you can go on line and print out coupons. it's insane. they're everywhere.

enjoy your new addiction!

Follow That Naked Boy!

the other day i was getting dinner ready and i was sending addison to the store for something i had forgotten, when we see jasper run through the kitchen - naked from the waist down (what is it with my kids?). i say, "hey! where's your diaper?" and jasper just runs by laughing. suddenly concerned, i tell addison we need to find that diaper and likely the large wet spot on the floor and addison says, "um, how about this big crap over here?". greeeeeeat.

sure enough. jasper has planted a large, man-sized, mammoth poo right in the middle of the carpet. did i mention the size? when you see these poos all crammed in to a diaper (excuse the visual), you don't realize that these tiny humans are capable of such feats. it's quite impressive.

this means, though, that jasper is officially ready to potty train. between the after-sleep and before-bath urinating in to the potty chair, to the taking the diaper off when the poo comes...he's ready. am i? no. i'm not. i don't want to do it. i don't know how to do it with a boy. but, i guess, we're just going to go for it. sigh. jasper's a booger too, he will run all over the house spraying pee everywhere, laughing. i just know it.

How Many Chicken Nuggets Does It Take To Explode A Toddler's Insides?

that's what i was asking myself at dinner last night as we watched jasper shove 5 and 1/2 chicken nuggets into his teeny belly.

5 1/2!

chicken nuggets!

i know, i still can't believe it either.

it was just another thursday in our house - addison and i were eating up leftovers, so i made some chicken nuggets for jasper and annie, along with some green beans and cottage cheese. i needed jasper to eat something last night, so i gave him two things i knew he'd eat but also put one chicken nugget on his plate because i always like to give him the option of expanding his horizons. he ate his beans, he ate his cottage cheese and then he was asking for some regular cheese and i said, "why don't you try a bite of your chicken nugget?" thinking that surely he would say, "NO!" and push his plate away as usual. instead - and to my utter shock - he touched the nugget, picked it up, smelled the nugget and then took the world's teeniest, tiniest bite. we all held our breath and already the tears were welling up in my eyes just over the fact that he TRIED it. i could have cared less if he liked it or wanted more.

but guess what? he took another bite. and another. and when it was about half gone addison asked him if he wanted another one, so he shoved the rest of it in his mouth and said, "yeah!" and proceeded to then eat 4 1/2 more chicken nuggets until i was sure he would throw up all over the place. kid was HUNGRY. hadn't eaten - really eaten - in days.

we applauded, we rewarded him with all the grapes and chocolate milk he wanted, and we all went to bed happy for the first time in a week or so.

sigh. milestone accomplished.

still no sign of trying anything else - rice krispies, toast, etc. as of breakfast this morning, but i'll take what i can get.

Jasper Update: Someone Take His Vocal Cords Please

i beg of you. i can't take it. not when addison isn't here for back-up.

today i instituted the "you didn't eat your lunch, so here's your lunch for a snack!" rule and it has failed miserably. the problem is, the reason he didn't eat his lunch is because it was mac and cheese and pb&j and he has never even tried a bite of either of those things. so then, is it just cruel to forgo the snack of grapes because he won't re-not-try the pb&j???? yes, i think it is. but, i've already begun to bargain, so i cannot turn back now.

thus, the screaming. the hyperventilating-i-will-never-forgive-you-oh-mommy-dearest screaming.

you know what else? here's how not dumb our son is: after being told no by me 100+ times, jasper started to go downstairs. after a couple of minutes of quiet, i went down to see what he was doing down there by himself and lo and behold, he knew the grape bowl was on the counter in the kitchen so he went down, felt around on the counter until he reached some grapes, and pulled a bunch out and was hiding on the other side of the counter eating them when i walked in. he immediately started crying when he saw me.

then. i was in here, at the computer, to get away from the incessant screaming and i heard him sort of rummaging or something, so i stepped out of the office and there he was picking the last of the 4 grapes on the bunch he saw me throw in the garbage.

oh. my. god. my son is a dumpster diver. i can see us now on "intervention". great. he's traumatized for life all because of a stupid snack.

who are YOU voting for mother of the year this year?

The Poverty Party

so one of the blogs i stalk read frequently is - as you can see over on the sidebar to the right there - "i am bossy". i stumbled upon her one day by way of my other daily-reading obsession ritual "pioneer woman" (also over thar on the right). anyway, i found her funny, dry, goofy and just sarcastic enough for me to love her writing. she cracks me up. some day, if you have some time to spare, you should check out her musings on "Bossy's Excellent Road Trip" - it's some funny friken' stuff.

so anyyyyyyyyway...now that i'm on a blog-name basis with ms. bossy (see comments on this entry), i have now decided to join her "Poverty Party"...see new little side-bar-badge at right (and yes, that's a technical blog term - please be impressed at my knowledge). you can go ahead and read for yourself if you care at all, but basically it's a place for any fellow feeling-the-crush-of-this-godforsaken-economy people to talk about climbing out of debt, creative ways to save a little cashola, etc. might be fun, right? and since i've recently become a coupon-clipper -oh yes i have and don't judge til you try it because it is ADDICTIVE! - and since addison is the master of the savings-plan, i figure it might be a nice little change from the day-to-day-what-is-jasper-not-eating to mix it up a bit and talk about something fun. like debt.

and since today is thursday, i hereby declare all thursdays forthwith (until i tire of the subject) to be "poverty party thursday"!

for richer or for po'er...yours, gina

PROGRESS

RAISINS! JASPER IS EATING RAISINS!

now, this is good. and bad. good because, jasper never used to give raisins the time of day...ew! gross!

bad because, if he will try a wrinkly, dried up fruit that looks like a petrified turd, why OH WHY will he not try a hot dog? or peanut butter?

i'll tell you why: it's not a "snack" food.

tomorrow for snack: ham sandwiches!

ReGrouping

so, ok, the weekend was an emotional rollercoaster for both me and jasper. i thought about posting a video of a piece of jasper's breakdown, but i didn't because i couldn't bear to watch it and hear that agony in his cry again.

addison held strong and sat at the table with jasper during lunch on sunday and had a bit of a battle of wills with him. i think it was a stalemate. i'm not sure we could claim victory, but i know jasper couldn't claim victory either. by dinner time last evening, things had calmed down. jasper climbed in to his chair, seemingly excited for the meal that lay ahead, yet when presented with his plate - spaghetti, broccoli with a couple of green beans for motivation, and garlic toast - he just stared at it. he actually picked the beans out of the broccoli and ate them after much investigation. you'd think we're sprinkling arsenic on his food as suspicious as he is. regardless, he may not have eaten, but he did sit there the whole time and didn't cry, scream or otherwise pitch a fit.

today was different, because we're faced with the school thing. jasper attends a mothers-day-out program on mondays and wednesdays for which i must pack him a lunch. so, do i pack a lunchbox full of new food that he has never tried or do i just give him what he knows and see what happens? mind you, he's not been a great lunch eater thus far at MDO, so i'm thinking it will be interesting. he's only once eaten his green beans at school and will not eat his cheese stick, so i pack both of those things - along with applesauce and yogurt - in his spiderman lunchbox and off he goes. his teacher is all in-the-know of his "issues" so she's on board, too. and guess what? he ate every. last. piece. even the cheese stick. so. now i know. stay tuned: wednesday i'm going with cottage cheese. EXCITING STUFF, FOLKS! don't lose sleep.

hey. wake up. hello? i've lost my audience. this is boooo-oooring crapola if you aren't me. i know this. i apologize. you're wondering, "how many days can she talk about her son's weird eating habits?" "does she do nothing else with her days but watch him not eat?"

the answers are: i don't know and obviously yes, but come on. i need to vent it out.

so, anywho. no dinner for jasper tonight. i did give him milk, so i'm not totally evil. only plain milk though, not with the chocolate instant breakfast in it, because that's how he likes it best. you see? you see what he's done to me?!? he's playing games!!

and, scene. exeunt stage left.

Oh Good God What Are We Doing?

i actually had to leave table in the middle of lunch today because i started crying with jasper. he climbs in his chair and says "i'm hungry" and then as soon as we give him food, he just starts crying and he doesn't stop and it's killing me. killing me. it is against every instinct i have as a mother to not do what i can to meet his hunger need.

it's just awful.

Food Training Day 1: It Hurts Me More Than It Hurts Him

oh man does this little boy know how to work me over. he must look at me and say to himself "so easy. she is so easy." all he has to do is give me "the look" with the lip out and the slight quiver and i'm toast.

but i've held strong so far. this is day 1 of food training. jasper is just beginning to realize that addison and i mean business and he's. not. happy.

exhibit a:

so here's how it goes: we give him whatever the rest of us are eating for dinner. last night was pizza. we give him a slice of pizza, he stares at it and pouts and won't touch it. he points to the fridge and says "'ogurt" or "beans" (i mean, how desperate is that?). we say, "you can have yogurt if you eat your pizza first" and he says "no" and continues to pout.

then we get serious. addison gets the yogurt from the fridge, shows it to jasper and jasper says "yay! yay! yay!" (and no i'm not kidding) and then addison says "do you want some yogurt?" and jasper of course says:

"yes!"

and addison says, "eat your yogurt" and jasper does this:

and pouts some more until dinner is over.

lunch today was awful. it's so sad. he just walks around and cries. how long is he going to hold out? that remains to be seen. he is stubborn. it could be weeks. or maybe it's just going to feel like weeks.

sigh. no turning back now.

Illin'

you know how kids don't know they're sick until they're sitting in a pile of vomit? sorry for that image first thing in the morning, but that was how our day ended yesterday.

one of three things happened:

1. annie received her flu vaccine yesterday morning by way of nasal spray.

2. annie was put on a new antibiotic yesterday for an infected toe from an ingrown toenail due to her biting her toenails down to nubbins.

3. random act of projectile illness.

so, we're all happy all day yesterday. we eat dinner, annie gets a chocolate chip cookie for dessert for eating such a good dinner, i give her the antibiotic at about 6:30pm, we go upstairs for a bath, get out of the bath and do the usual chase-naked-giggling-girl-around-the-house-while-she-laughs-maniacally-and-yells-"ooooo i'm so cold" dance, get jammies on, pick out the story, and then the kids hop in annies bed and addison begins the story (ironically a story about the berenstain bears who chew their fingernails) and i head downstairs to straighten up the kitchen.

phew, that was a long run-on sentence.

all of the sudden i hear addison yell "ANNIE! ANNIE!" then "GINA! GINA! COME HERE!" and i know what must have happened, because nothing else other than spontaneous combustion would cause addison to use that tone of utter panic. sorry honey, but it was sort of funny. anyway, i run upstairs and see the trail of annie's former meal from the bed to the bathroom.

poor baby. it always breaks my heart when she gets sick. and i think, what, this is the 3rd or 4th time in her life she's thrown up so it hasn't happened often, but every time she gets so quiet. she won't talk. she just stands there with her head down like "why, god? why me?" it must be so confusing to go from happy and fine one minute to losing your entire insides the next.

anyway, we seem to be all systems go today, though i'm keeping her home from school (much to annie's disapproval) just to make sure we're truly in the clear. annie keeps convincing me she's fine and "i'm not sick anymore!" because don't think for a second she forgot what tonight is. tonight is family game night - where we eat either pizza or grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner, watch a movie and play games while eating popcorn and chocolate.

happy friday everyone!

Reign of Terror: Enter Mommy Robespierre

i don't know how that little bit of historical fact came back to my brain after lying dormant for YEARS...i don't even think i was aware i still had space in my brain for academics, but apparently i do. see dad? you didn't waste all that money on my B.A. after all!

anyway, the reason i recalled the ol' french revolution for this title is because i, like the oh-so-evil Robespierre, must become an evil dictator. we are about to enter the johnston-family-reign-of-terror in order to conquer the evils that are: jasper's eating habits.

cue: Beethoven's fifth

yes, that's right. we had jasper's 2-year checkup today and i was assured that jasper is in no way underweight or malnourished and that he is just s-to-the-ubborn as all get-out and he must be stopped now before he totally owns us.

so first, here are the stats:

weight: 26 lb. or 25%

height: 36" or 90%

tall and skinny - just like mommy and daddy. (pause for laughter)

as doctor mac says, "if you just look at the growth charts, he looks ethiopian..." (you know, the starving ones, not just your average...well, you know what i mean) "...but he looks healthy, he's gaining weight, he's growing...he's fine."

he's fine. it's all i needed to hear. along with dr. mac agreeing that it is time for me us (cause i can't do it alone or i'll end up in a padded room) to become hardasses. he said at this age, kids want control over anything and everything possible, and now that jasper can fully understand and communicate with us, if we continue to let him assert control over what he eats, it's only going to get worse.

and thus the reign of terror began.

basically, this means we will no longer be serving jasper the 5 foods we know he likes and will eat. sure, he can have yogurt...but only if he eats a fish stick first. absolutely he can have those green beans, but try this hot dog first. yes! you can have your snack...but only if you ate your sandwich at lunch time.

anyone want to come stay at my house for a few days? it promises to be exciting! i'm sure there is plenty of screaming, throwing and crying to be had.

no more of this:

and much more of this:

i will keep you posted as things progress...that is, when i decide to buck up and actually follow through with it. for now, i must go search for my evil-dictator crown...or something.

5, 6, 7, 8

girl's got some fierce moves.